Addict

Welcome to my journey that I'm 'bout to take ya through I'm opening up this mind, so, listen for a while 'Cause I'm pouring some of my thoughts into this composition Including my emotions & feelings I've been wanting to talk about All I can say at this very moment I'm proud of myself Took me a year to assemble this wild journal During this living hell that I'm seduced in, vilely It's something to address mindfully, rightfully 'Cause I know my life will be passing me by I know I don't have any time to sit here & cry I know there's someone at home dealing with the same issue as mine Relate to every rhyme, we're clones just living different lives The enemy is like a parasite, I can feel it in my bones Watching it destroy my life, now I let myself go By eating junk food to cope with the pain 'Cause when I feel worthless I find a way to medicate This chaotic drug got the best of me I've been hiding my true identity Masking myself 'cause I'm ashamed of me Someone who is an addict fiend Why am I an addict fiend? Driven to embrace all my sinful needs Finding ways to explain this lyrically Behind closed doors you'll find the real me The devil has been tempting me Why you tempting me, huh? What you know about a man living underground looking down staring at the floor? What you know about a man staring at a mirror thinking, where did time go, go, go? Will someone ever relate to the things that I feel inside? Will someone ever relate to my crooked side? Will someone ever relate to my book of rhymes? Will someone ever relate when I say I'm losing my mind? Retaliate, but sometimes I can't seem to fight the same Like, what's the point trying, I'm gonna fall again Pick myself back up, man, I'm feelin' brave When it's good luck bad comes to play Hot tempered, frying up the brain, grouchy moods Sounding rude, screwing up my cranium, storming off Typhoon, I'm going pandemonium, bringing out my podium Preachin' for the ones that can't speak welcome to my auditorium Telling you story of an addict abuser, problematic inducer Post traumatic confusion, all these things that I view Rapidly pursue to reduce all my memories I once knew Shoot up all my insanity illusions But sometimes I refuse to put a bullet through this 'Cause I kinda love it I let it use me & bruise me I'm turning to a monster, I'm hurting the ones that I love the most I'm the opposite is what I was told, friendly & kind Nah, I'm mental & blind, I can't even recognize myself Low self esteem so low I'm at the bottom of this world Where no one can hear me scream Pulling me deeper from reaching my dreams "Breaking the habits!" hearing me shout it Guess you never know what you're addicted to Until you try to get out of it Someone wake up 'cause I'm tryna snap out of it Will I make it out alive? Will I make it out sometime? I don't even know Battle all the pain inside Will this fight end tonight? End tonight, end tonight, tonight, tonight This chaotic drug got the best of me I've been hiding my true identity Masking myself 'cause I'm ashamed of me Someone who is an addict fiend Why am I an addict fiend? Driven to embrace all my sinful needs Finding ways to explain this lyrically Behind closed doors you'll find the real me The devil has been tempting me Why you tempting me, huh?