Tupperware Party

If you don't buy something I'm gonna have to ask you to leave We're closing up soon And you've been icing that cold coffee since three Job's worth waiter, theater major can't look me in the eye Wants to kick me out but knows it's minus two outside I'm not a tramp, I'm not a drifter Can't you see this tailored suit Should be back in New-York but there's one thing I need to do And I am sorry to interrupt your Tupperware party But you used to sit opposite me at the campus library I sold the jag, left my wife, quit my job on Wall Street And I'm retracing my steps to find the last time I was happy Winter in Manhattan kind of makes me want to stab Every stuck up frat boy only here cause the boss knows his dad So I walk up to CEO at the team building exercise And I say "you can stick my job the same place You stuck your first wife" And I am sorry to interrupt your nephew's bar mitzvah But you used to run an improv group at a Church hall in Pittsburgh Do you remember per chance the girl who used to run it with you Cause my life would've been so different if I had the guts to kiss her If I only had the guts And I am sorry to interrupt your rehearsal dinner But you used to run an improv group at a church hall in Pittsburgh Do you remember that scrawny kid who drove up from Penn State Well he's very rich now and very sad And wondering Is he too late Is he too late Am I too late What a beautiful wedding What a beuatufiul bride What a beautiful baby I wouldn't care if I died Cause yeah I've got all this money But what have I ever done I've never really been happy But you're the closest I've gone