Against the Kitchen Floor

I don't owe you my heart And I don't owe you my body But you should know that I'm sorry For being careless with you Lord knows I owe you more Than I'm pretty sure I ever could give anybody But I can't pin down what normal people want from foreign objects Bottom shelf erotic products like me So, I could hold your hand but keep you at arm's length Or hang me from a branch too high to climb and shake Less rare than scarce, less diamond than rough Unlikely to be more than just the coal you fail to crush, and I swear, I'm really trying It just don't come natural to me to think that you'd want me for me I swear, I'm really trying Oh, I'm sorry, I promise, I'm doing my best I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet I still don't know who you are I only know that I'm still lonely That morbid sort where even company can't cure me And the more you reassure, the less I trust But still you gave me your heart I only gave you my body Honestly thought nobody'd want it, let alone notice it's gone And so I left it home, but now, now, now, now I keep a locket with a picture of the back of my head Oh, monkey-wrench my side view mirrors, ghost my friends I've lived more lives than enough, I haven't died quite as much But I'm not a real person, just the shit you can't make up, and I swear, I'm really trying I'm just as exposed if I take off my clothes When we make the closest thing to love that I'm capable of And I don't know why you would care But I'm really trying Oh, I'm sorry, I promise, I'm doing my best I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet Did I really have any of that gravity? Maybe you're quicksand Because I really couldn't tell How deep my footprints went The vertex of my redemption arc The searching on that virgin heart I'm catatonic in your arms Crying, "How did I cause so much harm?" I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours Don't say "I'm sorry, but this can't go on" I know you've got scars of your own But hide my knives before you go I'll either live or die alone I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress I promise, I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible I swear, I'm so fucking sorry I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all And write a fucking song about it, cause God damn it Sorry Fuck, I'm sorry