Survivors Guilt

I thought I was goin' crazy, you know? And like, I realize that I wasn't the one that was crazy I realized that it's the system that was built against me, you know? And like, I'm not supposed to be talkin' about this And that's the corruption of it Because like, me just saying it's, it's absurd And I want people to open up their eyes And realize that I'm not wrong, you know? I-I'm, I'm just a openminded individual And people should be more openminded If-if we tryna build up our lives to have material things And those don't satisfy our needs, what are we living for? Right, right, come on (alright) This one is for you, uh-ooh This one is for you, uh (is for you, for you, for you) This one is for you, uh-ooh This one is for you, uh (is for you, for you, for you) Steezy told me, "Get 'em," so I got 'em (got 'em) Now my nigga gone, he will never be forgotten (never) Ever since he left, I just been strugglin' without him (uh-huh) 'Cause I remember linkin' after school and we'd be plottin' (plottin') Talk about our problems and what we do about 'em (yeah) Journalin' and jottin', we ain't know the world was watchin' (facts) We was just two kids tryna make it out the bottom (uh-huh) Now I'm rich and rotten, everyday I think about him It's survivor's guilt, wishin' I coulda stopped him Let alone just know how he feel, lyrically couldn't top him He was the nigga with the belt (uh-huh) yeah, and that's real rap I couldn't do this shit without him and that's just fact You see, if you ain't know Steelo then you really don't know me though (no) And that's how I separate all the real from fake people (yeah) Or the real from fake fans (uh-huh), who claimin' that they stans (Uh-huh) But they ain't know my mans (no) Until the very end, wish he was still here I swear it feels weird, how people could accuse me for his death Sometimes I gotta shed a real tear (tear) You see, the truth about Steelo, he lacked the mental health (he did) But try to tell that to people way back in 2012 (I can't) But now that it's a mainstream topic I'm guessin' I can finally open up and talk about it So, yeah, let's talk about it (yeah) Come into my mind, I show you where the darkest cloud is You ready? I doubt it, but let's go You see, Steelo was my bigger bro (uh-huh) At a point in time, spiritually, we was in the same boat, but I wanted to take it slow He wanted to take it as fast and deep as he could go, pause Yeah, we had some problems, but what brothers don't? Sure Then I caught a little wave and headed back to shore And that's when he started drowning And he had no one around him So, partially, I feel it's my fault (hey) And that right there is my internal war (uh-huh) The reason why I got to feel these external flaws The reason why I can't heal this eternal loss The reason why I gotta feel this survivor's remorse (shh) And here's a message to his fam I know y'all got emotional trauma That, I understand (I understand) But I couldn't fuck with y'all Try to tell the world I wasn't who I am When all I ever tried to do was lend a hand (that wasn't cool) And give the fans the thing that they demand the most King Capital, the fucking G.O.A.T., word I'm just tryna get my nigga heard Give him what he deserves This one is for you, uh-ooh This one is for you, uh (is for you, for you, for you) This one is for you, uh-ooh This one is for you, uh (is for you, for you, for you) Yeah, and R.I.P. my cousin Junior B (R.I.P.) Y'all ain't know too much about him, so it's up to me (it's up to me) To share his legacy with the world It kills me to think he'll never meet my baby girl (shh) And when I lost Jun', that hurt me in the worst way (worst way) He even died two days before his birthday (his birthday) Damn, that brings tears to my eyes My nigga really never made it up to twenty-five (damn) That's why I'm thankin' God every time I open my eyes (uh-huh) Add the fact that we alive and we feelin' these vibes (vibes) 'Cause we be fillin' these voids, part of me got destroyed (facts) When I lost my boys, it's like I lost my voice (uh-huh) It took me all of this time just to put it in a song (song) Because I'm still dealin' with the fact my niggas is gone (yeah) Write they names up on the clouds 'Cause that's where they belong (uh-huh) As long as I live on, they'll forever be known, this one for you This one for, yeah This one is for you, uh-ooh This one is for you, uh (is for you, for you, for you) (Long as you'll forever be known, this one's for you) This one is for you, uh-ooh This one is for you, uh (is for you, for you, for you) This one is for you, uh-ooh This one is for you, uh (is for you, for you, for you) Yeah, I'm off the, I'm off the DeLéon, neat, DeLé-honest So I'ma make this quick, you know Pastor Black Lip back on that shit True story, look, so I'm in New York, my first time One of my first times that I'm, I'm playin' my-my One of my first albums for the big homie And he got these kids in there, they just on skateboards I'm like, "Yo, this super cool" This, this guy got the kids out here, you know Keepin' the kids off of the streets, right? So, fast forward a year later, I go back to New York And then I meet this kid, he's like, "Yeah, man I don't know if you remember me, me and my homies, the Pro Era" Crazy, I was like, "Oh, yeah, wha-what's your name?" He said, "Capital STEEZ", I said, "Oh, okay, for sure" Fast forward, my boy Doe called me, Doe Burger! That nigga called me and say, "Yo, you heard these kids The Pro Era? Joey Bada$$?" I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, I met the kid Capital STEEZ, they crazy" Fast forward another year or so, I'm on tour with Joey We been 47 ever since, man We got that shit tatted on us, man, for life, man Tryin' to show the move, man, you know? Everything come back around full circle, you know what I mean?