Fooling Myself

Everything I hate is commanding my attention The thing that should be great is commanding my perfection All that's on my plate, I think I'm lacking comprehension I think I need to wait for I lose my intentions My bones crack in the shadow of a new storm While I'm complaining all day that I'm lukewarm I won't lie and pretend that I'm wise, surpriser You just try to tell me that I need an adviser I don't need him, I don't need her I like to think that I'm not just a creature, not just a feature I don't need no teacher I don't need no preacher I know the procedure I know everything that's gonna keep me in good health I know everything that's gonna keep me in good wealth I don't need the word put it back on the book shelf But after it all I see I'm only fooling myself The pain in the one hand, promise in the other The strain, running on sand, honest to a brother If it isn't unconditional how is it love? I know it's not traditional so I'll look above The tension between Wandering and searching Pondering and hurting Honoring and serving The most glory is found in unexpected places The best story is found in unexpected graces It's gotta rain for the seed can grow To stop the pain you must cede control Identity's not what I achieve Identity is what I receive It doesn't come from my health It doesn't come from my wealth No not even myself There's no escape from the hand I've been dealt That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt