Safe

11 39 in the morning 9 21 I was mourning over a phone call From a friend of mine I usually don't pick up the phone I feel I'm in safe company when alone I feel I'm my best self when I'm alone I feel I don't need help when I'm alone Rather do it by myself but then I'm a I don't feel like feeling anything I tried to be an alcoholic But it didn't work Cause I couldn't commit It didn't numb anything it just made me feel sick Is this depression Just had casual sex No connection Tried to penetrate her vigina No erection I'm a bisexual now I asked a question Unbalance chemicals in my brain 100mg of Zoloft to maintain Buspirone cause I'm angsty Only place that I can vent safely Why am I like this Could it be a lack of religion Been years since I asked for forgiveness Still not ready to vent the trauma that I witness But when I am I hope you listen When I was 25 I didn't think suicide was selfish Like who the fuck are you to tell me I should be alive like You don't know me You don't know my fucking life like Not up to you if I live or if I die I have proof in due time that things get better Well at least things don't stay forever Willis Smith Jr. I hope you live forever Mike Pilato Pops I want to thank you for letting me into your home Chris Thank you for letting me into your family Forever grateful Carol Lane Mom John I'm sorry I love Mommy I love you Dad I love all yall