Scorchos

Home for Christmas

Man, it's good to see the family

But I'm riddled with Yuletide anxiety

'Cause I know what presents are for me

Five rectangles under the tree

Those supermarket-bought $5 chocolate covered almond-strosities

My old man, he thinks I love you

My great aunt, she thinks I love you

My girlfriend, she thinks I love you

But they, they don't know

No, they just don't know

I hate scorchos

Last Christmas I gave you my darts

And the very next day you gave them away

This year, to save me from tears

I'm gonna smoke up with someone special

Do not waste $5 on me

Give that money to a charity

Those supermarket-bought $5 chocolate covered almond-strosities

All the children sing:

My old man, he thinks I love you

My great aunt, she thinks I love you

My girlfriend, she thinks I love you

But they, they don't know [oh no they don't]

No, they just don't know

I hate scorchos