I need the pills to tell me how to feel

To know the difference between what's fake and what is real

To know just who and how and what and why that I'm supposed to be cuz it's not me

No, it's not me

It's not me

I'm gonna hurt myself or I'll hurt somebody else

Won't you just kill me please

I swear to god I'll take this gun

Put the barrel to my head

Close my eyes and count to ten

Pull the trigger

Let it blow my brains out on the motherfucking floor

And here I thought that the depression would die out with all the hormones

When I grew up, graduated found my place in life

I tried to learn, I tried to live

I tried to love, it's gone to shit

I'm hating this; it's torturous that life's so fucking worthless

Guess I should've known better than to trust our parents, teachers, therapists

And high authorities that wrote my fucking future for me

Leave me in my darkness

Let me bask in sorrow

I'm a person with my own voice

My own soul and my own choice to do fuck all if I want to

And the hell to all who want to tie me down

Clip my wings and make me contort and fit into that claustrophobic box they called my home

This is not a home

This is a travesty

This is my tragedy

My god just fucking look at me

This is not a home

This is a travesty

This is my tragedy

My god just fucking look at me

I've been waiting for a way out of the bed I made

I can't escape every regret from yesterday

Where have I gone?

Where have I gone?

I've been gone this whole damn time

I don't matter, I never tried

I want to die with everything I hold in deepest inside of me

I need the pills to tell me how to feel

To know the difference between what's fake and what is real

To know just who and how and what and why that I'm supposed to be cuz it's not me

No, it's not me

It's not me

It's not me

It's not me

I'm not me

I want to die with everything I hold in deepest inside of me