You Never Know (feat. Jean Grae)

She was on her way to becoming a college graduate Wouldn't even stop to talk to the average kid The type of Latina I'd sit and contemplate marriage with Fuck the horse and carriage shit, her love was never for hire Disciplined, intellectual beauty's what I desire Flyer than Salma Hayek or Jennifer Lopez Everyone told me, kicking it to her was hopeless At first, I just thought, she didn't mess with broke kids The thug niggas always talking about, how they smoke kids But the rich-sniff-coke kids got no play "I'm not even interested," is what her body language would say Everyone around the way, gave up trying to get in it It didn't matter how good your game was, she wasn't with it On the block, bitches were jealous, but wouldn't admit it Talk shit, and deny to everyone that they did it 'Cause they regretted the long list of niggas that they let hit it And no one ever gave them shit except McDonald's and did-dick Smoking weed with thoughts of envy, whenever they lit it She spoke intelligently, and they bit it, always trying to copy But when they tried to use her vocab, they sounded sloppy She had a style, all her own, respectful and pure I was sick in the head for her, and there wasn't a cure Don't you know that, time waits for no man My fate, it's all planned I'm blessed just to know you I've loved, and I've lost just to hold you all night Can't find, a reason why God came, between you and I If I had the chance again, I'd never let you go Hold tight to your love, 'cause you never know Her eyes are brown and beautiful, yet empty and sad I used to talk to her occasionally, and she was glad That I wasn't just another nigga trying to get in it So every now, and then we'd stop and talk for a minute I didn't have a gimmick, so the minutes turned to hours On her birthday, I gave her a poem with flowers Then I took her out to dinner after her cousin's baby shower We talked about, power to the people and such We spent more time together, but it was never enough I never tried to sneak a touch, or even cop a feel I was too interested, in keeping it real Perfectly honest and complete, she would always call me "Cariño" And never Technique Bought me a new book to read every two or three weeks Forever changing the expression of my thoughts when I speak It was because of her, I even deaded all of my freaks She convinced me, to stop hanging out on the streets To stop robbing and stealing, from people like you Instead, I took her out to the Apollo and the Bronx Zoo Museo del Barrio and the Metropolitan too Got to the point when I was either with her or my crew So I decided one day, to tell her my feelings was true I couldn't live without her, so I told her, facing my fears But honey's only response, was a face full of tears She could only sob hysterically, holding me tight I tried to speak, but she wouldn't stop until I left sight I felt like a moth who got himself too close to the light Except I didn't burn, I turned cold after that night Don't you know that, time waits for no man My fate, it's all planned I'm blessed just to know you I've loved, and I've lost just to hold you all night Can't find, a reason why God came, between you and I If I had the chance again, I'd never let you go Hold tight to your love, cause you never know I went on with my life, college and my career Ended up locked up like an animal for a year Where the C.O.'s talk to you like they were the overseer Then I got sent to the hole, when my exit was near At night in my cell, I'd close my eyes and I'd see her Hold her close in my dreams, but when I woke she disappeared Just an empty cell until the state gave me parole in the summer Came back, in tact and on track But the fact of the matter, is I still felt cold Even after my mother, hugged me, crying at home My real niggas would catch me thinking, outta my zone Fucking lots of different women, but I still felt alone Relatively well-known around the New York underground But I kept thinking of her and how we used to be down The sound of her voice, and the beautiful smell of her hair Though gone physically, somehow it was still there I had to do something, because the shit was too much to bear So I went and visited the building where she used to live The world looks a lot different after you do a bid The way your life done changed While primitive minds are still stuck in the same game Like her cousin who was on the corner slanging cocaine Stepped in the lobby and tapped the button next to her last name Her mom buzzed me up and hugged me up, like a mother ought to But her facial expression changed, when I asked about her daughter Time waits for no man My fate, it's all planned I'm blessed just to know you I've loved and I've lost just to hold you all night Can't find, a reason why God came, between you and I If I had the chance again, I'd never let you go Hold tight to your love, 'cause you never know She told me that there was a note for me, that was left behind She had left it there waiting, for such a long time I was inclined to ask about it but she brought it up first I saw a tear swelling up in her eye, and then she cursed She told me where the letter was and I started thinking the worst Reversed my position, stepped over and opened the door And sure enough there was an envelope with my name on the floor "Nobody loves you more than me, Cariño" is what the letter said "By the time you get to read this, I'll probably be dead But when you left in '97 a part of me went to Heaven I thank God at least I got to know what love really was But it hurt me, to see what true love really does 'Cause even though we never made love, you were all that there was It was because I loved you so much that I had to make you leave You made me doubt the way I thought, you made me want to believe And then I slipped up, and I let you get close to me It was hard to not be openly when people spoke to me This was not the way I thought my life was supposed to be Baby don't you see, I had a blood transfusion that left me with HIV Hope didn't exist for me since late in 1993 I died a virgin, I wish I could've given myself to you I cried in the hospital because there was no one else but you Promise that you'll meet me in paradise inevitably No matter what, I'll keep your love forever with me" What happened for the rest of the day is still a blur But I remember wishing that I was dead, instead of her She was buried on August 3rd The story ends without a sequel And now you know why Technique, don't fucking fall in love with people Hold the person that you love closely if they're next to you The one you love, not the person that'll simply have sex with you Appreciate them to the fullest extent, and then beyond 'Cause you never really know what you got, until it's gone (Still it's gone, yeah, yeah)