The Art of Anesthesia

Sometimes I think about who I should believe The people who are dead or the people who are free Sometimes I hear them as they whisper to me I try to stay awake, so I won't die in my sleep And I was quick to take a second look through The window on the door of the operating room And the adrenaline, it threw my eyes To the table on the floor where the patients lie I saw his face, I could not speak As the anesthetic kissed his cheek I felt my lips go cold and my limbs go weak Because the body on the table where the patients die was me It was me Give me back my oxygen mask 'Cause I don't want to feel the walls of my heart collapse So put me under I would sooner die on this table Than face what causes me to be so unstable There was a lie between my demons and me And a body made of paper in the passenger seat As I opened my eyes, I could not see I felt the stitches come loose and the blood run free And as my thoughts began to shake I felt the hand of the darkness kiss my face And then the devil woke up, and he grabbed my throat He pulled me down to the place where the silence grows He looked at me with hollow eyes And he whispered my name as the flowers died I felt my heart go cold as I sank between the ocean I am and the river I meant to be I meant to be Give me back my oxygen mask 'Cause I don't want to feel the walls of my heart collapse So put me under I would sooner die on this table Than face what causes me to be so unstable Now I'm standing by the window on a Sunday And I can't quite recall Why I cannot move at all, all, all And I feel so tired and wounded Like the stitches on my soul came apart I'm standing here in the dark Maybe it's from the drinks we had last night But good God, I love those friends of mine The best that alcohol can buy Or maybe it's from the lack of sleep Or all the secrets I've kept tryna be so sweet to you It's dark, my dear, but it got me through, it got me through Give me back my oxygen mask 'Cause I don't want to feel the walls of my heart collapse So put me under I would sooner die on this table Than face what causes me to be so unstable Causes me to be so unstable Causes me to be so unstable Sometimes I wonder if I'm only a ghost Wearing human skin, I never chose I listened to the devil as he spoke Because he tempted me with a beautiful rose