Hydrogeologist

We all have a friend that deep, deep down

Just wants to study aquifers and creeks

Find out about ph balance 

And stopping run-off from garden house leaks 

Now before you let that friend go off

And become a full-fledged, card-carrying, lab-coat-wearing scientist

Let me tell you a thing or two

About the hydrogeologist

Tramping through streams, testing the waters

Making life better for beavers and otters

Siphoning samples in beakers of glass

Reminding rule-breakers not to water their grass

He's frequently high and lazily droll

Knows his aqueous rock from his granular shoal

He can tell the difference between ground fog and mist

He's a hydrogeologist

He walks round the Eno or some similar aqua

Wearing a floppy sun hat probably got in Nicaragua

Can tell you the dangers of using bad detergent 

Explain why you can't pee in a stream though it be urgent

He's frequently high and lazily droll

Knows his aqueous rock from his granular shoal

He can tell you stories about the groundhogs he's kissed

He's a hydrogeologist

His findings are mostly logical

His geology purely hydrological

His purpose is noble, his methods are green

He cares only about keeping our H2O clean

He's a hero of science with a practical gist

He's a hydrogeologist

He's a hydrogeologist

(Michael used to be) a hydrogeologist