Bastard

My heart colder than Alaska Living life without a father, shit was hard I never knew I'd be a bastard In love with the streets, shit, I ain't wanna leave I never knew I'd be a rapper Fell in love with music, I used to distribute I'm supposed to be a trapper Look me in my eyes, tell me what you see Pain, this shit run deep I swear I'm so tired of this shit 'til I'm weak I ain't been able to sleep I've been so paranoid, this shit creepy I just been prayin' the Lord give me peace I got to keep a rod close to me Sometimes it be hard just to eat They don't wanna see me win It's hard to keep some friends I'm tryna keep my mind focused I'm tryna find peace again I lay down with one of my eyes open The reaper been pulling me in Lord forgive me for all of my sins Lord forgive me for all of my sins Momma know I'm living reckless She send me a message like, "Son be safe" Goin' back to forth to court, I been stressin' Thank God that I won the case In the box, it's just me and depression I'm fighting this shit everyday All these demons won't leave me alone Think it's better if I be alone I know 12 wanna throw me in jail I been walking a straight line In my cell, I was stuck on no bail Living life through FaceTime Thought you fuck with me but I can't tell All you did was waste time Look, I'm exhausted They tend to fuck over me often Every time I get up, I keep falling What you mean? Bitch, you know I'm still balling Get the green like I played up in Boston Walk through the storm and it rain on me Kept it real through it all but they changed on me Don't know why they always put the blame on me Still rode for the man 'til my tank was on E My heart colder than Alaska Living life without a father, shit was hard I never knew I'd be a bastard In love with the streets, shit, I ain't wanna leave I never knew I'd be a rapper Fell in love with music, I used to distribute I'm supposed to be a trapper Look me in my eyes, tell me what you see Pain, this shit run deep I swear I'm so tired of this shit 'til I'm weak I ain't been able to sleep I've been so paranoid, this shit creepy I just been prayin' the Lord give me peace I got to keep a rod close to me Sometimes it be hard just to eat