Valentine's Day

It's a day of hugs and snuggles A time to spread your loving seeds It's a rolling, growing pink snowball of Stress that no one needs It's unhealthy expectations An opportunity to impress It's a yearly grim reminder That your life's a fucked up mess It's a dark and lurid history Of deviant pagan kicks It's outrageously expensive Just stay home and watch the Knicks It's a big fat middle finger To those who're all alone Whether sick or tired, or uninspired You still gotta bring the bone It's a clusterfuck of passions An emotional tour de force It's a cuddly little Cupid With the cock of a full-grown horse Valentine, St. Valentine I gotta make it through your day Of candy hearts and chocolate shards And every bullshit love cliché The hard-ons and the heartaches The pressure, pain and fear Valentine's Day Got to survive you another year What does having a girl Hormone monster mean? How long can I be A fuck machine? I'll be cooler- Why is there never anyone for me? What if the Knicks aren't on TV? Valentine, St. Valentine Your day is fucking asinine But I swear by God I'm gonna make it through!