Better

When opportunity knocks

When possibility calls

Take the bull by the horns

Grab life by the balls

You gotta take the reins

Break the rules

So you can make your shitty life

Better

You gotta grab the good stuff before it’s gone

‘Cause once it’s gone, it don’t come back

I met a nice guy at the dog track

He was tall, he was Greek

He was possibly gay

He needed a green card

I needed the cash

We got married in Passaic last may

You shoulda seen the dress I wore

It was haute couture and it was beautiful

You shoulda seen the dress I wore

Yeah, I stole it

It made my shitty life better

When opportunity knocks

When possibility calls

Take the bull by the horns

Grab life by the balls

You gotta earn a buck

He was tall, he was sweet

Turn a trick

Possibly gay

So you can make your shitty life better

So you're married?

Widowed actually

What?

It's a long story

I met a lady with dementia

She was old, she was sweet

She was legally blind

She needed a roommate

I needed a room

I was outta work, she was outta her mind

You shoulda seen the rings she wore

Let me underscore that they were beautiful

She gave me all the rings she wore

Yeah, she thought I was her daughter but

They made my shitty life better

Better, better, better

When opportunity knocks

When possibility calls

Take the bull by the horns

Grab life by the balls

You gotta catch a break

Snatch a purse

So you can make your shitty life

This is your advice? To take advantage of sick old ladies?

No! Not just them

Hey, hey

When life gives you lemons

When life gives you lemons

When life gives you, oh, lemons

You gotta go out

You gotta go

You gotta go out

You gotta go out

You gotta go out

You gotta go out and steal some apples

'Cause who the fuck wants lemons?

When opportunity knocks

When possibility calls

Take the bull by the horns

Grab life by the balls

You gotta hustle hard

She was old

You gotta muscle through

She was sweet

So you can make your shitty life

She was legally blind

Better

When opportunity knocks

When possibility calls

Take the bull by the horns

Grab life by the balls

You gotta seize those balls

Squeeze those balls

So you can make your shitty life

Better

Your shitty little life better

You gotta make your life better

Your shitty little life better

You gotta make your life better

Your shitty little life better

You gotta make your shitty life better