Bisque

Seven years is a long time

Seven years to change my mind set

Locked in, strapped down by worthlessness

It's a feeling , I cannot leave in the past

I couldn't let you see me cry,

I couldn't let you see how your words degraded my mind

In front of the bathroom mirror I clenched my fists

I couldn't let you win and take the best of me

I close the door and walk down the basement stairs watching every step as you applaud your ego

Every drop of hurt

That ran down my cheek

Sealed my lips shut

Into a silent scream

The hardest thing about believing in myself

Isn't the struggle, but letting go of the possibilities of what could have been

Sitting with all my thoughts that just won't let me be alone.

I struggle to make that grey matter clear again

This isn't for you

This isn't for you

This isn't for you

This isn't for you

I couldn't let you see me cry but I blamed myself for the longest time

It was your game I was your pawn and I settled for what I thought I deserved

I've had enough playing the role of being your female token piece

I couldn't think for myself being alone on the stage that you placed me and

Write words that meant something

Now I'll write that it means something