Got myself a lovely semi new build house

Got a largely silicone implant spouse

Look at my head you know it's a skin fade

Grey Audi A3 sitting on my driveway

You know it's financed, I pay it off monthly

Gymshark to the pub cause it's so comfy

Got a tattoo sleeve and one on my hands

One of them says R.I.P. Nan

She's not dead yet it's a long term plan

I wear ASOS, the Mrs. wears Boohoo

Essex or Manchester's where we wanna move to

Love her so much, yeah she is a diamond

I'd break up with her to go on Love Island

(I'm sorry babe I might get sponsored by protein powder)

I sell cars or work for my father

Once a month I go Miller and Carter

20 pound steak and a flatbread starter

Got a spray tan but I wanna go darker

Teacher said that I won't be shit

Now I'm in recruitment and earning commish

I like Tottenham or Arsenal and girls named Chelsea

Yo Wayne Lineker, can I get a selfie?

Crushed velvet all over my sofa

Girl's dream car is a white Range Rover

But for now she's got a Fiat 500

I'm on a night out, oi mate Deano's just chundered

(Oi lads you won't fucking believe it mate, Deano's only gone and been sick again, ain't he

Oh brother

Brother

Bro, bro, brother

Lads

Brother)

I'm with Deano, Smithy, Chaz and Big John

God's Plan by Drake our favourite song

Going All Bar One where we belong

Doing more cocaine than Neil Armstrong

It's a lads’ night out but you know what they say

What happens at happy hour stays at Turtle Bay

The lads are looking dapper but I'm looking nicer

Special toothpaste to make my teeth whiter

I like these jeans but I want them tighter

Don't smoke, I vape, don't need a lighter

Flashing my wallet just to excite her

Two drinks in and I think I'm a fighter

I could knock out Anthony Joshua

I don't think he's a very good boxer

Strong opinion on sports

Only sport I play is picking up sorts

Got veneers and I'm saving for a hair transplant

I'm really sad that they closed down Topman

Traveled the world from Kos to Ibiza

Me and the lads are ocean beachers

Me and the Mrs, Luton to Dubai

Matching tracksuits when we fly

Adidas sliders on the plane

My entire life is so mundane

Me and the lads all exactly the same

Yeah mate, yeah, just got it

It’s every three days actually on the skin fade, every three days

Gotta keep it looking crisp brother

Yeah yeah, gotta keep it looking good for a bit of Hollywood Bowl later

Bit of Nando's, Tango Ice Blast, you know, the works

Yeah, yeah Tom Zanetti is sick, yeah