album cover
Smokers
116
Comedy
Smokers was released on October 13, 1998 by Jack Records as a part of the album Dorkfish
album cover
Release DateOctober 13, 1998
LabelJack Records
LanguageEnglish
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy
BPM103

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS
Bill Engvall
Bill Engvall
Performer
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Bill Engvall
Bill Engvall
Songwriter
PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING
Bill Engvall
Bill Engvall
Executive Producer
Doug Grau
Doug Grau
Producer
JP Williams
JP Williams
Producer

Lyrics

I apologize if I seem a little tense tonight
I'm three months now without smoking and uh
Well
Thanks
But before you get too enthusiastic
I should tell you I didn't quit for my health
I quit because if I didn't I was gonna hit somebody
If I lit up one more cigarette and saw somebody do this
What is that?
It's like a booger fan
Just one time I wanted to light up a cigarette
And see somebody go "ugh" and just go "pow"
Oh God
I got off cigarettes by using the patches
I got off patches by smoking cigars
I got off cigars by doing crack
So I'm pretty much tobacco free now
I love cigar smokers
"Well it's not bad for you, you don't inhale"
That's like saying you dip but you don't spit
I had to quit, it's a whole different time now man
Even smokers are hiding their habit, you know
Like there's some other reason they're outside
In a snowstorm with no jacket, you know
What's up?
Remember when we were kids everybody smoked man
Preachers light up after a sermon
Little league coach would light up during the game
My dad used to smoke while putting gas in the car
'Cause apparently in 1969 gas wasn't flammable
This is the same man who every summer
I'll never forget this vision
He'd have a lit cigarette hanging out of his mouth
While he squirted lighter fluid on an already lit fire
And he could never figure out why every summer
He had no eyebrows and his hair was receding
Written by: Bill Engvall
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