Out in the woods just beyond the cliffs, big pines and the nuclear plant

 Rumour has it there is a child of a man and a mule and a kodiak bear

He’s got a name they call him big roy

Some people swear up and down they’ve seen him before

And if the A/C is turned off at night sometimes you can hear his terrible roar

They found footprints the size of a Ford and a patch of fur at a cave’s door and the dna came back and they said they’ve never seen anything like this before

like big ol roy

Ms Calhoun had a vision of a beast in her yard and a state trooper said he saw big roy on Cliff’s road chewing on a car

So they called in bad old sheriff smith

Sheriff stood on the edge of the cliff with his hands on his hips looked up at the sky and said I don’t believe in ghosts and I don’t have time for this nonsense

Then Mrs Calhoun starting screaming and pointing toward the pond

and before we knew it big roy had handcuffs on

Now Sheriff Smith was not a good man he was deep in league with the criminal element and he used the power of his office for personal profit / for mostly bad shit

Marvin Donahue was a twelve year old kid

he was big roy’s best friend and it made him so maaaaaad he spit on the rug and got up and drove himself out to the cliffs

  

 Marvin rolled up on sheriff smith like a bitch

 he said hey Sheriff you can’t do big roy like this

 i’m begging please let him go

And sheriff smith said son you're in way over your head, kid

I’m selling that thing to the circus and buying my old lady face lift

And marvin pulled out his granny’s pistol and said over my dead body you will mister

But Smith was quicker than he expected him to be and he turned the table on the kid and picked him up by the feet

 

Then up over the edge comes big roy with a start

he roared and banged his chest then he threw sheriff smith off the cliff

and then he ate his car

and he said what's good, marvin?

and he ran back into the woods