Sitting upright sleepless in the small hours which seem somehow much bigger than usual

Is this reality is this a nightmare featuring all the decisions I've made

Shouldn't I be on the street in this moment, shouldn't I write a song

Shouldn't I sleep so I'm fresh in the morning To achieve what I this time did wrong

I am too tired to sleep, So I decided to die instead. Let´s celebrate the occasion and don´t try to hold me back

Now I remember the words I have said to you when we should have said goodnight

I change to a kitchen chair creaking suspiciously but still more silent than I, was,

all the time rolling backwards and forth and I didn't want to wake you up, no,

but to be honest I wish oh I wish you would open the door now and rub my back and tell me all will be alright

Let me escape from this vanity fair, Let me prepare for the afterlife

Let me put on all my beautiful clothes, Make up my face to a most splendid mask

I can escape from this devilish world, I'll build my rocket to Jupiter

Put me upon a most marvellous dais, Let me sail away even further

Nothing did happen, and no you can't help. I'm not an unlucky person

My brain is just fucked up and I am so tired, I can't fight any more

The Sounds of a waking world muffled by the soft noise of warm black wings . I am just so tired - I just want to say goodnight

(Now I´ve) put on my ball gown and jewellery, Adorned my head with a crown

I feel I´ve been dancing all night and have just slipped out of the room

to sit down a bit and breathe while everyone else - is still - having fun

so I sit and breathe and smile and wait for death to come