Sickness

I'm just killing time waiting for the sickness to take me away And I won't fight it, I don't need no more, I already died I don't think you understand what it's like for me Can't stay sober for the life of me Stare at broken mirrors tryna fight for me Memories of jail sent a kite to me Eighteen in the field, I was banging for real Chilling with my homie all the night he got killed Mama kicked me out so I started to deal Saw the pistol smoke from releasing the steel Conversation with the devil when my time's up You a gangsta, Or a saint make your mind up Money on my mind tryna shine cuz Man of my word, tryna grind bruh But sit back for a minute and don't let it fool you But what I've started diminished before a second That I thought that you'd be there for me You said you always cared for me I'm just killing time waiting for the sickness to take me away And I won't fight it, I don't need no more, I already died I've been sick and confused, ready to explode like I'm blowing a fuse Feelin so alive when I'm sipping the goose Or when i'm bustin' down doors and I'm clutching the tool You want me to admit it, addicted to the rush When I started I finished, but don't think for a minute When I get on the mic that I won't create a clinic You say I'm selfish like I could never care for you Like I was never there for you Only when I'm broke I be soaking in pain I get so out of line when I'm blowing the cane Only time I feel okay is when I'm sipping champagne Or when the rain's coming down penetrating my brain It's best if you leave, don't tell me where you go Go and be free, you'll be better on your own My sickness is wicked, destroy a happy home It's just me and my demons, But I been so alone I'm just killing time waiting for the sickness to take me away And I won't fight it, I don't need no more And I already died