album cover
Maestus
Hip-Hop/Rap
Maestus was released on March 2, 2022 by JASCR as a part of the album Weirdo
album cover
AlbumWeirdo
Release DateMarch 2, 2022
LabelJASCR
LanguageEnglish
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy
BPM95

Credits

COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Christian Thomas Caleb Solomon
Christian Thomas Caleb Solomon
Songwriter

Lyrics

I stay emotional
I really do
But I do my best to hide these emotions from you
I stay emotional
I really do
But I do my best to hide these emotions from you
And it's time to let them through
I hate myself
I mess up and get everything wrong
I wish I could be somebody else
Because then, I wouldn't write this song
I still remembered all the times I missed the answer
Even when my classmates forgot
I wish I was smarter and I paid attention better
So I wouldn't give those times any thought
I tell folks I'm fine, but the thought of suicide
Has crossed my mind these past five years
For real, I don't wanna be here
And I wanna make that unmistakably clear
'Cause I'm ugly as heck, I hate my neck
I've been losing all sorts of self-respect
Because of my peers and folks that hate me
And all that stuff is really starting to change me
I'm a pacifist, because I'm weak
I let folks walk all over me
I'm careful with everything I say
In case they might just ghost me and leave
It's gotten to the point where I like being sad
(And it bugs me, and it bugs me)
I wallow in self-pity for as long as I can
(I don't love me, I don't love me)
I'm desperate for love, I want it so bad
It seems like the only thing I never have
But I can't love anyone else
Until I love myself
I stay emotional
I really do
But I do my best to hide these emotions from you
I stay emotional
I really do
But I do my best to hide these emotions from you
And it's time to let them through
I kinda miss the old me
Spending time in my room, feeling lonely
The fascination I have's taking control of me
And I just really want somebody to hold me
I don't vape, drink or think that weed's fun
When I get sad, I just carve into tree trunks
I might bleed some, but I won't be dumb
I'll just put on my long sleeves, son
I already might not thrive 'cause of my skin color
And I'm choosing not to be here? That's a bummer
I got a roof for the weather that's over my head
And dude, I still think that I'd be better off dead
Attempt after attempt, I'm still here
Every time I get close, man, I feel fear
Maybe I should stay here
But until then?
I stay emotional
I really do
But I do my best to hide these emotions from you
I stay emotional
I really do
But I do my best to hide these emotions from you
And it's time to let them through
I can't love anyone else
Until I love myself
Until I love myself
Until I love myself
You know, it wasn't always like this
Written by: Christian Thomas Caleb Solomon
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