Nine Months

The first thing you said the night we met is I was beautiful And you were right, that New Year's night I looked so beautiful So good inside, life in my eyes, I was so beautiful That's the last time I looked so beautiful 'Cause now I'm standing in your light, and it's not beautiful But I was so beautiful, I was so beautiful But now I'm sleeping, just so I'm not awake When I get up, I'm getting dressed by yesterday And every time I think of you I hate I didn't run away 'Cause I never thought, I never thought I'd be the girl who stayed In late July, we went upstate for your twenty-second All you wanted for your birthday's to mess with my head Tell me I'm dumb, all my friends suck, I'll never be loved again Then apologize, say it's not what you meant Ah, but it's what you said, I know it's what you meant So now I'm sleeping, just so I'm not awake When I get up, I'm getting dressed by yesterday And every time I think of you I hate I didn't run away 'Cause I never thought, I never thought I'd be the girl who stayed But when I think of it, I acted like a kid Not knowing right from wrong It makes my stomach sick That I tolerated you for so long It's all so clear to me now That you're not here with me, how was I so blind The words "It's not my fault" repeat until I fall asleep each night The words "It's not my fault" repeat until I fall asleep each night So when they ask you about us No, don't you ever say we were in love I took my time now I know what it was So don't you ever say we were in love You ruined my life for nine fucking months So don't you ever say we were in love No, don't you ever say we were in love No, don't you ever say we were in love