City Lights

I see my past highlighted by these city lights

I take the alleyways, grabbin' on this battered mic

The dark shattered light

My peers after mine

I'm just hoping that they also love the after life

Either that or whatever is creeping after life

See I'm a man tonight

I see these boys looking joyful with their toys

While I'm grabbin' on my samsonite

The smell of leather lingers

As I watch these calendars slip through my fingers

I don't wanna meet my maker

Just make my meters and keep 'em burning

And everyday I have, I hope they keep me learning

Reading these books, getting lost

Feeling whole like the search is my cause

And the music is my god speaking sermon after sermon

I see 'em all solute and thank me for my service

I did it for me

But it keeps me going knowing you could see what I see

Knowing adolescence out there wanna be what I be

There's a price to a young'n

You most likely don't invite the kind a vices we brung in

Be it poison of the body or the kind you can't see

'Cause it's creepin' up behind

And if they don't have footing, they can slip right in their mind

Torn apart by anxiety and ripples of hell

See I'm seeing it still

And I struggle with the deep end

Drowning in my thoughts but my body's still breathing

'Cause my nephew's still teething

And I like to see him frequent

Dusting cobwebs on my way to speak to Jesus

That's who we pray to when our young mind was feindin' for

A reason to the season

But the wind is blowing harsh tonight

Do I even need to tell you that it's raining

Or can you feel it?

'Cause I can feel it

It might as well be the blood of the earth

And if it is, then it's flooded my entity

These rivers got me caught between infinities

I feel the cold dirt cover every inch of me

Open my mouth and these demons are creepin in on me

My lungs are full of sin

It felt better when I had this belly full of gin

It felt better when I couldn't wait for life to end

We had our moments, G

We never speak about the time we saw the end of things

We had a dryer in our hands and we missed the tub

I'm thankful every day

I thank our family who kept us going every way

And for the scene that helped me blossom to this fiend

I could taste the first sweat on my lips

To the time I had the first girl's head in my grip

Wasn't calling out the father

Thinkin' I'm a man, I'm a man

Little did you know that was never part of the plan

You ain't a man till you travel through these sands in the hourglass

So listen close I need to tell you something deep