The In Between

(I'm not mad at her, I just want her to not hurt herself) (Which is what she's doing) I'm in over my head At the point where I'm starting to dread your calls And I know what comes next The part where I convince you that you're better off Won't respond, shrug you off, look away I'm pulling back as you fall for me Raise my guard, put my heart in a cage Locking you out, but I don't wanna be Oh this habit, I-I should fix it I always mess things up I admit it I'm not the girl that you think you want and You'd hate me too, if I was ever honest I got used to the secrecy It's safer in the in between I liked it 'til you wanted me I'm safer in the in between Madi says I'm just stressed And my head's too clouded to be smart right now So if I had to guess By spring I'll realize she was right and hate myself Sabotage something good out of fear I know you'll show up in painful dreams Want you back once you're no longer here Born with a talent to ruin things Oh this habit, I-I should fix it I always mess things up I admit it I'm not the girl that you think you want and You'd hate me too if I was ever honest I got used to the secrecy It's safer in the in between I liked it 'til you wanted me I'm safer in the in between (I do want you to be happy) Oh, i'm so selfish, punish myself with The soul crushing knowledge, I willingly lost it Know I'll regret it and die just a little It's what I do best, sitting right in the middle Oh this habit, I should fix it Always mess things up I admit it Not the girl that you think you want and You'd hate me too if, I was ever honest Oh this habit, I-I should fix it I always mess things up I admit it I'm not the girl that you think you want and You'd hate me too, if I was ever honest I got used to the secrecy Was thrown off by your honesty You're not ashamed in wanting me I can't trust what I've never seen My nervous heart is taunting me I'm slowly starting to believe It's cold and dark and lonely I hate it in the in between