Eyes have been affixed upon the ceiling for a minute,

I can tell you're acting different,

Is it me or just the distance,

'Cause I moved across the country,

Tryna run from who I was and now,

Reduced myself to nothing,

In hopes of maybe feeling something now, I'm lost.

Maybe I should take a step back, I've been killing myself at what cost,

I've been working like a dog, got it from my dad, do it for my mom,

I need to reach out, ever since I left home me and my brother don't talk,

I've been acting like a cunt, but I'm always gonna blame it on a rut.

Lying awake,

Feeling like my synapses are setting ablaze,

Falling out of love with everything that I create,

I take one step forward just to fall onto my face,

I don't believe I can be saved.

I'm lost and so conflicted,

This loneliness is sinking,

The only thing I have consistent in my life's addiction,

Thought I'd lost my mind,

But I lost my attentiveness,

I made you cry because I swore this time would be different.

These razor blades are bloody,

Looks like my sleeves are bleeding,

I'm fucking lost,

Looking to God to try and fix this feeling,

These thoughts don't come in waves,

Rather shower me lightly,

They're so seductive in nature,

It's like they're tryna invite me.

I'm so indecisive,

I just don't know what I want,

And I've got zero restraint, I just don't know when to stop,

If you give me an escape, then I'll give you what you want,

But you keep tearing me down, I think I've given enough.

I do this shit to myself, I'm growing sick and deranged,

I spent 20 whole years slowly rotting my brain,

The body will follow, cut off the head of the snake,

I wanna kill myself, but I don't have what it takes.

Lying awake,

Feeling like my synapses are setting ablaze,

Falling out of love with everything that I create,

I take one step forward just to fall onto my face,

I don't believe I can be saved.