100 to 1 (Saturday Night)

Listen and I'll tell you a story Forgive us if I'm starting to bore ye But if you'll lend your ear for a minute I'll tell you about Young Donny Dervitt Donny boy was offered a square go Outside of his regular local And no there's no a chance that he'd pass up The prospect of a fight and a piss up The problem was as always he'd forgotten who to fight And so he went outside for a cigarette but he didn't have a light And so as to make sure he did not lose face He threw a deck chair at a police car so they'd give him a chase Hey! Alright! Its time! Saturday night! Okay! Alright! To do The things you like! I said hey! Alright! It's time! Saturday night! To drink and dance And do all those other things that you're meant to do So Donny's pacing it from the police car He's legged it by O'Neills and the rock bar He's tried to cross the road down on Main Street, And as he does he's knocked right off his feet A 2008 Megane, driven by a man named Stan Was going 35 in a 40 zone, as calm as ye can, When donny emerged and gave Stan no time to break Before he was draped across the windshield in a tragic mistake Hey! Alright! Its time! Saturday night! Okay! Alright! To do The things you like! I said hey! Alright! It's time! Saturday night! To drink and dance And do all those other things that you're meant to do Meant to do, meant to do, meant to do, meant to do, meant to do, Donny Boy, it's brutal, but it's sadly quite true That this could be the end, the last trip round the bend, That last text that he sent could be the last text he ever sends And as he's flying through the air, the neural receivers In his brain kick in as he swells to a fever. He recounts all the nights of petty violence and Stella And wonders if he could have been a different sort of fella And he wasn't the worst And he wasn't the best And he was a product of a time where we still test The measure of a man by the force of his hand And not the tenderness of his touch Woke up just a couple days later They'd had to use the defibrillator He was touch and go for a bit there They said they he was lucky to be here And as he contemplated the lesson Would donny boy become a new person? You know I've often wondered in passing But he's in the pub tonight, you should ask him Tonight Tomorrow And every night this week Catch him quick Before he's sick Before he cannot speak Bottles Like scratch cards Offer up the odd result But if we're counting son, It's 100 to 1 Empties And scratchies And doubts of several kinds Try and get a bit Off anything you can find The truth is that the answers, Wherever they may lie I really don't think They're in the next drink Hey! Alright! Its time! Saturday night! Okay! Alright! To do The things you like! I said hey! Alright! It's time! Saturday night! To drink and dance And do all those other things that you're meant to do Oh I don't know what this is doing to me Oh I don't know what this is doing to me