Terrain Vague

Today I awake from a dream and in that dream a song was playing It had only one lyric repeating over and over not like a broken record, More of a mantra "you will always feel this way" Later while having lunch, I had a vision. The god Mars walked in. his boots hammered hard into the floor He approached me Held out his sword Offered it to me. I turned away and said to the good Mars "I cannot touch your sword because I may end up killing everybody here" Then it echoed in my head "you will always feel this way" Insistent Mars forced the blade into my hand. It was massive Wieldy Empowered I shook. Something had come over me I WANT NO PART OF THIS I stayed home the next day, cooked the last box of macaroni Tried to watch television. The radiator seemed to be screaming at me, everything echoed stagnant "you will always feel this way" Something had to change. And then I remembered another dream filled with shadow and an overwhelming rage of panic Seems all my teeth had fallen out I had lost my eyesight My joints cracked in brittle contempt It was as if I had grown old but no time had passed I stared down at my hands They were still young They felt strong but still, so much fear. Then he walked up to me, boots banging the floor, Mars. He asked me a question and what that question was and what I said it's sort of between him and me Tsukiatari