All of the Above

I've been told I'm lazy, I've been told I'm crazy I feel like I'm maybe all of the above I've been called a waste, well never to my face, hell I've been told I'm great and I'll never be enough Yeah I just woke up hoping that this would be a much better day I just spent the morning up trying to learn how to meditate Anything that could get me right back into this old better state But that ain't working, maybe I just gotta go get away No, that ain't it No, that's not what I needed Swear I knew this before so why do I keep on repeating? Expecting different results, like something's going to change Guess I did this to myself, I think I'm going insane Ok, look One side telling me to go all out Other side telling me to stop One side telling me to focus on the work and the job Other side keep telling me 'nah' Keep telling me I need a second just to breathe Need a minute just to rest But part of me telling me I cannot do that I'll get all the sleep when I need when I'm dead Feeling like I'm at the edge Tiptoeing on the ledge Quit throwing in the towel That's now how I'm going out, right now, not yet But I confess, I been upset Every morning I been laying in bed Scrolling through feeds knowing it means Nothing to me, I'm not my best I've been told I'm lazy, I've been told I'm crazy I feel like I'm maybe all of the above I've been called a waste, well never to my face, hell I've been told I'm great and I'll never be enough I heard I'm successful, I just let 'em guess though They ask is it stressful doing what you love? I feel like I'm still lost, maybe that's the real job I pray that you're real, God and everything above I was counting mistakes Rounding up to be safe Down and out, but like roundabouts I went back around, now we straight I went back around like 20 times Or like 22, or like 29 Thought I cracked the code like a dozen times Hope it pans out like it's sunny side But I know all the circles have a role, ay Flowers die when the showers dry But that doesn't mean they didn't grow, ay Even if it doesn't show, ay Even if I never know, ay I see stars in the darkest nights So I'll find light in this whole thing I've been told I'm lazy, I've been told I'm crazy I feel like I'm maybe all of the above I've been called a waste, well never to my face, hell I've been told I'm great and I'll never be enough I heard I'm successful, I just let 'em guess though They ask is it stressful doing what you love? I feel like I'm still lost, maybe that's the real job I pray that you're real, God and everything above