I Know What You Want

It's been too damn long Since I caught a look at sunshine leaking into my home Searching like a crazy person for a hole I could plug Before I know it I was pumped up and covered in dust I'm allergic to excitement when its not in my head To any reason or impetus to get out of the bed I'm super nervous it occurs to me I'm turning into something That considers getting ridiculed as similar to loving I try to convince myself I deserve something slightly better than hell And I cry until I hear the disembodied voice of god I know what you want But you can't have it I know what you want But you won't get it I know what you want But you can't have it I know what you want It's not long enough Before I notice something sticky dripping onto my rug I had to take a little taste just to know what it was Next thing I know I'm feral and addicted to blood I been avoiding the outside world for so long That the sweetness caught me by surprise, I'd nearly forgot I'm super nervous its a certainty I'm turning into someone Who is searching for the spotlight at the center of a circus I try to remind myself Getting out of bed is a detriment to my health Still I rise if just to spite the condescending voice of god I know what you want But you can't have it I know what you want But you won't get it I know what you want But you can't have it I know what you want But it don't exist