Prologue / The Day I Got Expelled

The gods are real

Like the Greek gods

Like the ones you learned about

But weren't paying attention to

Well, they don't pay attention to you, either

Especially if you're their kid

The gods have godly things to do

Godly places they need to see

Godly plans they need to make

That don't include me

Yeah, the Gods are real

And they have kids

And those kids have issues, issues

Daddy doesn't love me and mommy is a god

Mommy can't protect me and daddy is a god

Mommy is too busy and daddy is too busy

Busy, busy, busy, busy being a god, yeah

You never listen to me, you never listen

You never listen to me, you never listen, oh

You never listen, but now you're gonna listen

'Cause it's time you heard our side of the story

It's time you heard our story

Look!

I didn't wanna be a half-blood

I didn't ask to be a hero seeking praise

Being a half-blood, it's scary

It mostly gets you killed in very nasty ways

I didn't want to cause trouble, trouble

I'm less a player and more the played

And honestly, I'd be totally fine

If I could make it to the next grade, next grade

It wasn't dirty socks or my stepdad

It was danger that I smelled

The day it all went down

The day I got expelled

Maybe you don't know what a half-blood is

Because your life is normal and happy

And not constantly in danger

But my life? Let me set the scene

We were on this freaky field trip (freaky trip)

That's when this story should probably start

We were geeking out on ancient Greek

At the New York Metropolitan Museum of Art

We stopped by all the statues

And learned about the gods

With Mr. Brunner and my substitute, Mrs. Dodds

Hadn't done nothing wrong

Wasn't rude

Hadn't rebelled

On the day it all went down

The day I got expelled

The Greek gods! Almighty titans of earth, sea, and sky!

But even they were children once

And they didn't have it easy

Their father, Kronos

Feared the day his children would one day inherit the earth

So what did he do?

Anyone? Anyone?

He ate them!

Ah, thank you, Mrs. Dodds

But one child, Zeus, escaped

And devised a plan to rescue his brothers and sisters!

He tricked Kronos into eating a rock

And what did Kronos do?

Anyone?

Any student?

He vomited them up!

I didn't really get the story

At least it wasn't boring as I'd feared

But is it me, or is Greek mythology

Not deeply weird?

I didn't want to pay attention

(Pay attention! Pay attention!)

Now I wish I had taken notes

But my focus is in question

And gods and indigestion caused a groan from all our throats

Ew!

Baaaaaah!

Dude, what was that?

Uh, nothing!

My best friend was acting strange

At which he so excelled

The day it all went down

The day I got expelled

Why do you have peanut butter in your hair?

Ask Nancy Bobofit, she's a monster!

Not literally, I don't think

She threw a peanut butter sandwich at you?

She threw a peanut butter sandwich at you

I stopped it with my head

Grover, you're a good friend

Aw

Dude, I'm your only friend

Percy Jackson!

I knew something was up

When I heard my name get yelled

The day it all went down

I saw something odd in Mrs. Dodds' frown

The day it all got weird

The day I got expelled

Mr. Jackson

Oh-oh-oh-oh!

Mr. Jackson

Oh-oh-oh-oh!

Mr. Jackson!

Please see me by the sphinx

Look, if this is about Nancy Bobofit

She only hates me because I tried to get her to stop wedgie-ing the first-graders

I have heard much about you Percy Jackson

Really? That's very dedicated for a substitute

Kicked out of five schools in six years

One might question your parentage

Hey, don't talk about my mom

And your father? That's right

You don't know who he is!

What's this about anyway?

Uh, Mrs. Dodds?

You have something growing on your

What ho, Percy!

Mr. Brunner

What am I supposed to do with a pen

Sword! Whoa!

Mr. Brunner?

Mrs. Dodds?

Um

I didn't know what just had happened

Was that all a creepy, crazy dream?

My teacher was a creature

Then she vanished in the ether with a demon scream

The next thing that I knew I was where detention was held

The day it all got real

The day I got

Expelled?

I tried, Percy, but the headmaster stands firm in his decision

You were supposed to stay with the group

And this was your final warning

But it wasn't my fault, it was Mrs. Dodds!

She lured me away, she attacked me, and you saw it!

Did I?

And you gave me that pen! Only it wasn't a pen, it was a sword, and

What?

Percy, we've never had a teacher named Mrs. Dodds

Perhaps it's for the best, this wasn't the place for you

It was only a matter of time before

I got kicked out?

That's not what I was going to

You think I'm trouble, just like everyone else

No, but, that is to say

I can only accept the best from you, Percy

Someday you'll understand why, I'm truly sorry

Yeah, well, I'm sorry I let you down

Maybe he's right

You never fit in at this school anyway

You're not exactly

Normal?

Exactly!

I mean, uh, I'll see you on the bus

So if you think you are a half-blood

Better get headed to the exits now

'Cause folks will think you're lying

Better run and don't start crying

'Cause you're monster chow

Or stick around and maybe you'll learn from me

This ain't Odysseus' Odyssey

So hear me out

If you're so compelled

But, nobody listens to me, they never listen

Nobody listens to me, they never listen, oh

Dude! You got expelled

I didn't wanna be a half-blood

I didn't ask to be a half-blood (expelled!)

Expelled!