Another Terrible Day

Oh, you're alive I suppose that's good news for you But it means a lot more paperwork for me So don't expect me to be happy to see you Of course, being alive is temporary So, maybe if I go away and play pinochle for a few Hours, things might improve. For me. Not for you. You'd be dead Where am I? Great! You haven't been debriefed This is way out of my pay grade Which is saying a lot 'Cause I don't get paid Someone find Professor Hay-for-breath and tell him Peter Johnson is awake, so he better clip-clop over here! It's Percy Jackson Whatever! Just another terrible day At Camp Half-Blood Where everything's the worst Just another terrible day When you're in charge It's like you're cursed Well, technically I am cursed. One romp in the woods with Zeus' favorite wood nymph, And you're stuck running a summer Camp for a bunch of needy half-bloods Half-blood? Yeah, half-god, half-mortal. Does no one watch the orientation film? Did you say half-god? Yeah. And I half-care Who's next? Silena Beauregard! Oh, great, she's crying I was walking in the strawberry fields with Charlie Beckendorf and we Were holding hands and everything was totally normal and then I Kissed him and all of a sudden he Started growing sunflowers. Everywhere! Look, kid I hate to be the one to tell you But I think that Charlie Beckendorf Was also holding hands with a nymph That doesn't wanna wish you well To tell you the truth The best thing is to break up with the guy 'Course, who am I to give relationship Advice, I'm literally the god of alcohol But he loves me- He loves you not! Next! Another terrible day At Camp Half-Blood Where everything's the worst Just another terrible day I'm the god of wine And I'm dying of thirst Wait, did you say you're a god? Dionysus, god of wine. The gods are real. Yippy skippy Ah, Katie Gardner. I see you've injured your arm I fell off a pegasus You don't have flying lessons on Thursdays, you have archery Those arrows are made of wood! wood comes from trees! I refuse to participate in any activity that Encourages the senseless slaughter of our arboreal friends- Oh, gods Give me Ares or Apollo Anyone but the Demeter kids cabin Now that you blessed us Go talk to Hephaestus Before I take a knife to my head and start stabbing And stay away from the pegasi! Girls and ponies Ah, speaking of ponies Percy! Mr. Brunner! What are you doing here? This guy is saying all this crazy stuff about nymphs and gods and What is going on? It's... complicated- Oh kid You have no idea About this place or your former mentor I don't have time To fill you in on the details But look, he's also a centaur God! I did mean to tell you Another terrible day (Mr. Brunner!) At Camp Half-Blood (You're a horse!) Where everything's the worst Another terrible day (What is happening?) You can hate it here But I hated it first Just another terrible day Stuck with these runts In the muck and mud Another terrible day Oh gods! I need a drink Enjoy your stay At Camp Half-Blood