Hogmanay was dreadful just like it always is
Everyone and their mother was out there getting pissed
I stayed in by the tv like we did in 96
You were out there with your taxi driver therapist
And the wankers on the tv sang Auld Lang Syne
And I sat there and I stared as we were running out of time
I poured myself a whisky and chucked it down the well
If the world ended right now, I couldn't even tell
Another year has passed and I have pissed it up the wall
The phone is ringing but I won't take any of your calls
Every firework outside's a minor heart attack
I better get myself a whisky and chuck it down the hatch
I counted every second, every minute, every day of this year
We started off in Dundee and ended up in tears
Hogmanay's still dreadful but at least it's going faster
You're still out there somewhere, I'm in here getting plastered
You're definitely not coming, I'm the only one who's here
Once again alone, so happy new year
The wankers on the tv sang Auld Lang Syne
And I sat there and I stared as we were running out of time
I poured myself a whisky and chucked it down the well
If the world ended right now, I couldn't even tell
