Scottish Bar Stool

Please no more gas on me – I pray for freshness L'd give everything for the sweet scent of a girl My legs and spirit can no longer stand the weight From all these fat asses, I need to hurl Even near the sea in company of seagulls In a beautiful land, I get to feel like a knucklehead No more balls on my nose, no more butts on my skull No more hair in my eyes, no more sweat on my head It's hard, it's hard to be a bar stool For centuries, how not to feel like a fool The two hollows in my head fill up with booze From the bottom of my pub, I beg you It's hard, it's hard to be a bar stool For centuries, how not to feel like a fool The two hollows in my head fill up with booze From the bottom of my pub, I beg you No more dickcheese or lice on my back No more wet farts or dirty man's nuts It's stronger than me, deep down my guts I beg you, Lord, hear me out! It's hard, it's hard to be a bar stool For centuries, how not to feel like a fool The two hollows in my head fill up with booze From the bottom of my pub, I beg you It's hard, it's hard to be a bar stool For centuries, how not to feel like a fool The two hollows in my head fill up with booze From the bottom of my pub, I beg you Please Lord of Stools – let me die with a smile If you can hear me prayer, with a nice girl on my chin Please Lord of Stools – just this one, one time If you can hear me prayer, let me feel her satin skin It's hard, it's hard to be a bar stool For centuries, how not to feel like a fool The two hollows in my head fill up with booze From the bottom of my pub, I beg you It's hard, it's hard to be a bar stool For centuries, how not to feel like a fool The two hollows in my head fill up with booze From the bottom of my pub, I beg you