I Would Rather

We're all slaves to the time They call it a watch 'Cause it watches our lives slip by Don't fact-check that online Now you're lying there in bed And you find yourself setting the same alarm to wake you up at 7:09 To catch that 7:36 (service to Stoke!) Do you maybe wanna give yourself just slightly more time? Oh, wow! Hm! Gee, let me think I would rather die than be awake for the nine extra minutes That I know would make me on time I would rather dive into a vat full of live bees than conceptualize being that organized I would rather die (I'd rather try to make love to a fire) Die (I'd rather take a bath with my hair dryer) I don't fear sacrifice, don't make me a martyr Don't worship me just because I would lay down my life To avoid getting up from the sofa to reach the remote, and Every time I'm sending out an email, I see that little tag at the end Saying "Sent from my iPhone" And every time I stop then I highlight and delete it I'm sure there is a straightforward fix But I would rather lick ice with both my balls in a vice Than find the setting on my phone which would turn it off Rather have my nephew's diaper as a drink than be slightly forward-thinking Or nice to future me at all I would rather die (the zebra crossing's just a bit too far) Die (I'd rather cross at this blind corner part) Die (it's worth the risk of getting hit by-) So you made it up to heaven You can laze it up You'll never have to look ahead with prophetic vision To see future stress you might get From the present decision that you're making Now let's get that booty through those pearly gates, man All you have to do to pass to the realm of the deep forever Is give a true opinion on the haircut I just gave ya I would rather die than tell a stranger that I Am not quite sure if I like the way they cut my hairs I would rather deny myself the eternal life Than have to suffer that minor present awkwardness I would rather die! (Woo, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh) (Ooh, ooh) I would rather die! (Woo, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh) (Ooh, ooh) I would rather die!