Wish that I knew what I had when I had it
And that it was more than enough
Wish that I wasn't a creature of habit
Who throws out the people she loves
Wish I could go home but don't know where home is
Cause I'm pretty sure that it moves
Wish I was older but I'm scared of aging
And looking dumb in my tattoos
I'm a ball of bad decisions, contradictions too
I don't know why I'm pretending
I have any clue
Wish I could go throw my phone in the Hudson
And finally find out if it floats
But I need those strangers online
Who give decent advice when my therapist ghosts
Wish I was one of those girls on the met steps
But I'd get attached to praise
And I'll never get there so I scratch their eyes out
On posters waiting for the train
I'm a ball of jealousy and evilness and rage
24 and I'm already lying about my age
I don't know why I'm pretending I'm at all okay
But everyone I wish I was is sadder anyway
