I think I'm just mad at myself For still holding on to this pain

I still feel the way that I felt All those years ago are still the same

Tell me how to fix it overnight I know the problem, I ain't finding it easy

Because love keeps coming in and out my life But I push it away so I don't have to feel this

Staring at the sky, asking Wonnie, why you leave me

That was 2018, when you had three years it's free me

They called me to the visit room, my mama came to see me

Cheesin a hella bitch, cause in that jam it wasn't easy

I swear we came a long way from a big fall

I used to cry myself to sleep when **** missed calls

Sink connected to my toilet, that shit big wrong

I can't complain about it, I know what I did, flaw

Blaming myself cause I'm the only one who fucking up the most

Begging God not to nail me to the cross, I'm losing hope

Hoping when I'm free that they won't pick me off of my gun choke

Know what come with it, I'll die about it, but I don't wanna go

Me and Ricky went and Watkins mill, getting **** poked

If you buck up to my brother, you inhaling all the smoke

When **** buck up to your brothers, you was bailing on your bros

If you love him like you say you do, then why your ass ain't blow

Try to tell my **** Rick like they gon' leave you in the snow

A big heart, a bigger target, keep your fully in your coat

Keep your foot on ****, necks they actin stupid, let them know

Get some money in your pocket, I'ma put us on the road

This shit on me, I take accountability for all my wrongs

Dukes, I'm sorry if I end up crashing, and can't make it home

Know you thinking that I'm stubborn and rushing it to be grown

Rather get rich or die trying, I can do it on my own

Cried with Wonnie two weeks before he died, I know he felt it coming

I felt I took his demons on and it wasn't for nothing

He felt that they all hated him and I could put blame on him

My demons, yeah, I can't shake him, I'm swear I'm so tired of running

Did my dirt and took my time, drug my name through the great vine

But it's my fault, if I could take it back, then I would press rewind

Spitting image of my pops when I see my reflection

So fucking angry all the time, why I can't learn from my lessons

Sorry pops, if I do disappoint you, it wasn't on purpose

I just gave up when, lil' Ricky died and I still ain't recovered

Sorry God if I caught your lost child and got that **** smothered

But I'll take my consequences, only did it for my brother

Seen his body in that casket, when I picture it, I shudder

Took my time with your best friend, she can't merch on you

I hurt her did me dirt and I can't lie, I kinda wish we took it further

Gotta learn to love myself again, cause you gon' love me better

I been trapped in the moment, bear with me, cause I lose focus

My reaction to my struggle, the reason I'm really chosen

Stomach hurt in court, just hoping that can't prove motive

Capping in them raps, that ain't your story, who really wrote it

Ain't no trophy in this gangsta lifestyle, bitch, I'm the trophy

**** capping in them raps, in real life, they don't even know me

I gave my life to the gang, in their return, I lost some homies

Gave my heart to a bitch, in their return, I got it broken

I put everybody's heart before mine, so fucking stupid

All the times I give out passes and y'all wonder why I do it

I hold a grudge and then you died and I'm my fucking lose it

I held a grudge with Ricky when we could've just talked through it