If I did

Wish I could tell you how I'm feeling But I don't know One day I'm high The next I feel so low I lose my mind Just to gain some control But end up crying on the bedroom floor Proud of myself for reasons you'll never know Fighting my battles sometimes on my own Wish I could tell you but if I did Uh oh if I did If I did They would be mad If I told you the secrets that we have They wouldn't understand my reasoning For speaking through my silence Break the peace She attention seeks But my lungs need air my body screams Sometimes it feels like I'm just surviving I'm losing sleep from nightmares I thought were gone Drowning in coffee Thought I could work it off I'm late to class pretending nothing's wrong But end up crying in a bathroom stall Proud of myself for reasons you'll never know Fighting my battles sometimes on my own Wish I could tell you but if I did Uh oh if I did If I did They would be mad If I told you the secrets that we have They wouldn't understand my reasoning For speaking through my silence Break the peace She attention seeks But my lungs need air my body screams Sometimes it feels like I'm just surviving One step forward I can see the gold light Calling, closer Telling me it's alright To hate this hurting Cus somewhere here I'm learning to speak up They might be mad If I told you the secrets that we have They wouldn't understand my reasoning For speaking through my silence Break the peace She attention seeks But my lungs need air my body screams Sometimes it feels like I'm just surviving