Esteemed guests: thank you all so much for attending the Second Chance Dance!

[sung] We all made a list a while ago about what makes the perfect king or queen:

They are honest, they are humble, they are socially courageous

They have been through hard times

Like being sent to the guillotine!

Thank you, Caroline

[sung] Except that list we made describes each person who's here

You all show courage every day that you live

And also, like Mel said, a king and a queen is... [spoken] uh, what was the word, Mel?

Heteronormative!

But, one of us was emphatically nominated by a friend because they recently gave that friend a big second chance. So, our Inter-Dimensional Second Chance Superhero is... Jessica Sullivan!

Thank you all so much for this honor!

I am totally floored!

Tommy — can we finally dance now?

Yes!

Caroline, hold my sword!

Five, six, seven, eight!

Sha-la-la, sha-la-la-la

Sha-la-la, la, la, la la

Sha-la-la, sha-la-la-la

Sha-la-la, la, la, la la

Sha-la-la, sha-la-la-la

Sha-la-la, la, la, la la

Sha-la-la, sha-la-la-la

Sha-la-la, la, la, la...

Hi, Marideth. Would you like to dance with me?

Yes

(sung)

The formal is a pastime, outdated and pointless

That, for some reason, still happens

It used to be a social function geared at helping young women wed

So how was I to know it would turn out to be — factually —

The best night of my life instead?

One-two-three-four-five-six...