The End Is Nigh

As flaming brimstone falls from a fire laden sky

A panel of experts will smartly decree

In their infinite wisdom that

This is a sign

When the ocean rises and collapses your seaside holiday home

When the FTSE100 reaches its worst recorded low

You'll thank your lucky stars you've still got your place in Spain

And you'll praise the headline plastered on the front of the Daily Mail that says

This is a sign

Of the end times

This is a sign