Lying To Myself

Yeah Summer's over, let the rain wash away my sins Tsunamis couldn't even rinse what you did But it's okay, girl just keep just what you say I'm leaving tear stains all over the bed that you and I made I'm seeing money more and friends less I wonder if that's what they meant when they said I gotta pay interest Something that my life lacks lately Wondering if I picked the right tax agent To keep my ends straight Money over everything right, at least that's what my friends say I know more about my money than my friends day Or how my friends feeling I think my most recent text that I replied to was from a Benz dealer I spend my nights at this museum like I'm Ben Stiller Never been to Pittsburgh but I've been stellar Ben steeler I write some of these bars just for an ego boost I ain't some rapper that's gone talk about what he gone do I push my power forward like what Hedo do I draft well in the seventh round, I don't need to lose Pressure every time I pick the pen up I raise the bar and did chin ups Nowadays I'm pissed and if I can't get the ball and get my Billups I can't just let em screw with my drive like Phillips I'm an uncle and I never even met my nephew I been meaning, I'm just so forgetful My life is so eventful Between the drunken nights alone and the studio It's so suspenseful Real, edge of your seat flows I used to spend my nights tryna deceit hoes Or meet goals And now she tryna leak those Messages from when I was at a peak low These women dirty I can't ever let em see me weak though I know that i deserve some of the hate I receive I'm hoping that I can keep that between you and me Cause self awareness isn't glorified or normalized Or whatever buzzword that the internet is enthralled with now A bunch of fake worry from people that sage burn And they flip they attention to whatever issue the page turn to It's my turn to, take notice of the people I hurt too Something y'all could learn too I wasn't looking for love, I was looking for somebody I can learn through And that's the issue See I was looking for the body of a woman and to body instrumentals Nothing on my mind, but motha fuck if that offends you And now I'm picking up the pieces of my actions I write songs like this simply as distractions Yo make me feel like I'm doing something bigger than my passions But I'm- I'm just lying to myself again Lying that I saw my friend Lying that I know my end