Hell's Greatest Dad (feat. Annapantsu & Lydia the Bard)

Haha Looks like you could use some help From the big boss of Hell himself Check out Daddy's glowing reviews on Yelp Five stars, flawless, greater than great With the punch of a pentagram A wap-bap-boom, alakazam Usually, I charge a sacrificial lamb But you get the family rate (thanks Dad) Who needs a busboy, now that you've got the chef? (Wow) Michelin tasting menu, free à la carte I'll rig the game for you because I'm the ref Champagne fountains, caviar mountains, that's just a start Who's been here since day one? Who's been faithful as a nun? Who makes you chuckle with an old-timey pun? Your executive producer (that's true) I'm your guy, your day-to-day Your chum, your steadfast hotelier Remember when I fixed that clog today? I was stuck, thank you, Sir (oh, you) I'm truly honored that we've built such a bond (aw) You're like the child that I wish that I had (uh, what?) I care for you, just like a daughter I've spawned (hold on now) It's a little funny, you could almost call me Dad They say when you're looking for assistance It's smart to pick the path of least resistance Others say that in your needy hour There's no substitute for pure angelic power Who just happens to also be your blood Sadly, there are times a birth parent is a dud They say the family you choose is better, what a bunch of losers Can you butt out of my song? Your song? I started this I'm singing it, I'll finish it, oh, you tacky piece of - Both of you, stop