Online Shopping

some people wanna win an argument

some people wanna be the president

some people hike into the mountain air

despite the spiders and the snakes and the bears

it seems a little dangerous out there

I got a bottle of wine I’m going

online shopping

online shopping

why’d you think I’d wanna leave my bathtub?

have you seen the kind of shit that happens?

the world is crazy but I’m alright

I’m ordering a living room rug tonight

last time I went into a restaurant

I remembered why I’d rather not

the waiter told me to enjoy my food

I looked at him and said “thanks, you too”

now I’m eating take-out in the nude

I got a bottle of wine

I’m going online shopping

why’d you think I’d wanna leave my bathtub?

have you seen the crazy shit that happens?

I can have most anything here by tomorrow

waiting in a happy little box at my front door

I bought designer velvet bell bottom pants

I bought a doorbell that can water my plants

I bought a light that will whiten my teeth

I bought a soap that cleans my washing machine

I bought a book so I can learn to knit

and a juggling for dummies kit

I bought a greeting card to send to my friends

’cause I’m never gonna leave my house again

why’d you think I’d wanna leave my bathtub?

have you seen the crazy shit that happens?

I just ordered a whole crate of wine

I got a bottle tonight

I’m going online shopping

online shopping