FLOODWATERS when I left home it was because I was afraid of growing older in a place where innocence smoldered and was ended by the rain I refused to see another friend

with fresh nail polish in an open casket desert sand I’d painted on her hands

not days before I left home the day you came at me with a rage that made the sky look red

above your head I imagined flying up into the clouds but then they came in uniform to our front door at the crack of dawn you and dad had blankets on when you said I was to blame

for the turbulence that running makes I learned that it was my mistake for having feelings no one could explain on my behalf I left home because I was a freak with emotions that betrayed me | I felt I had to hide my truth inside to survive a midwestern city life I knew that where you came from the world was mixed all into one and there had to be a girl like me roaming round the new york city streets and she would bring me back to you and you would see I’m not so strange and I would learn there is a place where I could be free from scrutiny but that was just a dream I held when I was feeling so alone without your love I was no daughter just a fish thrown from flood waters | mommy | did you hear me | mommy | when I left home it was because I was afraid of growing older I looked back over my shoulder at the place I had called home the next moment it was over in an instant unfamiliar the view from the greyhound station proved

I had no plan nowhere to run to | mommy | I’m leaving | did you hear me | mommy