Credits
PERFORMING ARTISTS
Kevin Bloody Wilson
Performer
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Dennis Vincent Bryant
Songwriter
PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING
Kevin Bloody Wilson
Producer
Lyrics
(If you haven't said this out loud, the title of this next song
If you haven't said it out loud in the last month, you've at least thought it
Alright, I'm guaranteeing you that)
I've had an absolute cunt of a day
Everything that could go did go wrong
So if I'm allowed to use the word cunt in a song
Had an absolute cunt of a day
Started as a fart in bed
Well, it started as a fart but I shit myself instead
And the fuckin' missus going off her fuckin' head
I've had an absolute cunt of a day
And running to the dunny like a bastard
Trying to hold it in with me finger up me arse and
Skidding past the kids and them little cunts laughing
Had an absolute cunt of a day
I've had an absolute cunt of a day
Everything that could go did go wrong
So if I'm allowed to use the word cunt in a song
Had an absolute cunt of a day
No hot water, had to take a cold shower
Scrubbing shit from every orifice took a fuckin' hour
Then fuck, fuck, fuck, no fuckin' towel
Had an absolute cunt of a day
Pulling on me jeans and tripped
Busted me nose and split me fuckin' lip
And then got me cock caught in me fuckin' zip
I've had an absolute cunt of a day
(Help me!)
I've had an absolute cunt of a day
Everything that could go did go wrong
So if I'm allowed to use the word cunt in a song
Had an absolute cunt of a day
And driving myself to the doc's
Packet of tissues wrapped around me cock
Not a good time to get stopped by the cops
I've had an absolute cunt of a day
The bastards didn't even let me explain
Just cuffed me up and hauled me off to jail
No fuckin' phone call, no fuckin' bail
I've had an absolute cunt of a day
(Your turn!)
I've had an absolute cunt of a day
Everything that could go did go wrong
So if I'm allowed to use the word cunt in a song
Had an absolute cunt of a day
So, your honour, that's how it is
That's exactly how it started and how it ended up here
And you bastards laughing ain't making it any easier
I've had an absolute cunt of a day
And I'm in too much fuckin' pain to plead
And I don't give a fuck if you don't believe me
Just take me out the back and fuckin' shoot me, please
I've had an absolute cunt of a day
I've had an absolute cunt of a day
Everything that could go did go wrong
So if I'm allowed to use the word cunt in a song
Had an absolute cunt of a day
I've had an absolute cunt of a
Just another one of them
Absolute cunt of a days
(Yes!)
Written by: Dennis Vincent Bryant
