album cover
First 22
309
Comedy
First 22 was released on November 4, 2022 by 800 POUND GORILLA RECORDS as a part of the album Only Fans
album cover
Release DateNovember 4, 2022
Label800 POUND GORILLA RECORDS
LanguageEnglish
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy

Music Video

Music Video

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS
Matt Rife
Matt Rife
Performer
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Matt Rife
Matt Rife
Songwriter

Lyrics

Nothing like where I'm from, it's so weird
I'm good-looking
I don't like it any more than you guys do, okay?
This is not good for comedy, okay?
And it's so weird for me
My looks are so confusing to me because you guys haven't known me my entire life
So you have no context of this, but this shit just happened
Puberty hit me so disrespectfully late
I was ugly as shit for the first 22 years of my life
I was so ugly for so long
If I would have been on Wayfair, they would have returned me immediately
Like, I was so ugly
Don't, oh, okay
I spent the first 22 years of my life building a personality for what?
You think I need to be funny now?
No, it's a fucking waste of my time, to be honest
It's gotten me nowhere
And it's so weird because when you spend so much of your life as one thing
And then you're drastically changing to something else overnight
It fucks with you emotionally
Like, I still-, it's still so new to me that I don't quite grasp it
I don't see myself that way
Like, I know I look like every fuckboy ever
But I do identify as an ugly person
So, I think that does technically make me trans
Trans handsome, transome
We wait 'til we get our bathrooms
It's going to be all mirrors, a bunch of pretty people doing cocaine
It's going to be dope, and y'all can't come
It's so weird, man
It's such a drastic lifestyle change, too
Because people treat you so differently
Like, nobody likes attractive people, right?
You assume their lives are easier
Like, there's no sympathy for pretty people at all
Which is another thing you guys might not know about me
Is I have clinical depression and an anxiety disorder
And you guys are just waiting for the punchline
That's how fucked up it is that I can come up here and vent to y'all
Basically, be like, "Help!"
And y'all be like, "Get your cute ass out of here"
And it's not funny
Awesome
Okay, it's so weird
There's no sympathy for pretty people
No one gives a fuck how sad you are
If you have high cheekbones at all
People act like I don't have any problems at all
I could be crying my eyes out in bed
And people are just like
"What could you possibly be so upset about, huh?
I bet you're just swimming in pussy"
And it's like, "Yeah"
But you know what I'm not swimming in?
Self-confidence, security, believe it or not
Someone who listens to me
I can't even hang myself
Because my jawline will cut the fucking rope
But I'm just on the ground, handsome
Even if I did die, it's gonna be an open casket
People are like, god-damn, he looks good in a suit
That's really nice, blue was his color
That is nice
Written by: Matt Rife
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