Self Flow

Trying to locate

Where I wrote my lyrics

Looking through the notebooks

I'm getting anxious

Where is it?

I see my history

Through to-do's and scribbles

Came across a sketch

I did of your view

I noted 13:59, that's the time

Now those numbers stab me

I break down

I melt down

I fall into pieces

Where are my lyrics?

Why am I distracted?

This palpitation for two days

Is this why it is?

A few lines by my pen

And my whole world crashes

I think I'm good

But then my soul flashes

With flashbacks of struggles

To make everything great

For everyone

I just work and work

And they just take and take

Now I'm writing these down

Hysterically crying

And you're probably at work

And have no clue what you caused

You're surviving

Autopilot

See, I can't do that

Too real, too in touch

Don't wanna sit and watch life

Then I go through the pages

And I see years and years

And years and years

Of goals and hopes and plans

Sketches of projects

That never take their stand

And lots of work

That has seen their sunlight

And got applauded

But then everybody just forgot about it

Is it worth it?

Is it worth it, is it worth it, is it worth it?

Is it worth it, is it worth it, is it worth it?

Tell me, is it worth it?

I want to run the shadow

I want to reach the sun

Past the clouds

I know it's there

Can't see but feel

The warmth and the shine

I know I will need time

I will reach above the clouds

In a relationship with me

All my to-do's

Have an exclusive time

For this one on one

A conversation with me, myself

And the other anti-social, judgy part

They just call X

We talk it over and hash it out

So we don't fall apart

But fall into place

I'm taking all the steps

To reach above the clouds

And feel it's warmth

On my face

Flying high above the grey

The dust and the fog

Meeting the ray of the sun

Writing my thoughts down

Getting my work done

Where are my lyrics?

They hiding

No need to worry

Need to worry

Like a sculptor carving marble

I will find it within me

To mold it, to hold it

I tell ya

Real talk

Day walk

Flashback

That's it

Crash

I'm sensitive, yes, I care

Stand tall

No wall

Transparent

Strong and fragile

As a glass

Shattered through the bash

Yeah, you selfish

And as I grow more

Yeah, you're getting smaller

World, we a team

And I'm playing

Riding a dream

Chasing a goal

Swimming the stream

Feeling the feels

Shedding the skin

Transforming within

Floating through the air

Passing through the crows

Bring me a message

Saying, "this is how she grows"

An hour and forty four minutes

Of writing to myself

A nerd's bump

That's what I wear

On my finger, as a ring

And I put on my string of pearls

On my neck

I keep'em stacked

One on top of the other

Feel the adrenaline

From the freezing drops

I take a breath in

And the whole world stops

The day rises

With the birds and the blue

As I forward fold

Dealing with all aspects of reality

Beginning to see comfort

In this cold uncertainty,

Feeling confident

Ready to tackle

But something bothers me

A drawer

Left open like a program

Running eternally in the back

Forward motion

A flood of emotion

That's why I'm practicing

High intensity interval crying

Yeah I'm trying, cause

Two months felt like years to me

And as always

I'm collecting these tears for me

To dive in

Cause I'm calmer, underwater

And I count to three and I push

And now I'm stronger

Still, I keep falling

But it's a slow fall

And I'm willing to lose everything

And yet I'm

Winning more than everything

Cause I practice

I practice

Self flow

I practice, practice,

Practice, practice

Practice all day long

I'm showing myself some

I'm showing myself some

And I practice, some

Self flow