How The Communists Ruined Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas

And all throughout the house

Not a creature dared disagree

Yeah, not even a mouse

With their communist Dogma

With their Soviet creed

No Christmas decorations here

No presents under the tree

Down the chimney came Karl Marx

Dressed in a Father Christmas suit

Smiling broadly, ruddy face, flowing beard

Snow on his boots

Snow on his boots

[Spoken] Stamping on an elf's face forever

He said "gather round children

I have a secret to tell

I know you've followed me faithfully this far

But the truth is, well

You must have thought I was joking

That I was taking the piss

You all claim to think I'm a genius

But a genius wouldn't ever want this:

Guaranteed misery, grinding down to totalitarian decay

The people fenced off into sections and cut down if they don't obey

It always ends the same

And little Vladimir, little Josef

Little Fidel, little Mao, little Che

They all realised they look like dickheads

And everything they had built now is slipping away

And that's why they decided to kill Karl and burn his fucking body

They blew out his brains and scattered his remains

And told us all there was no Father Christmas

They blew out his brains and scattered his remains

And told us all there was no Santa Claus