"[laughing] And at last, my delicious three-rice tomato risotto topped with baked banana!

Let's boot up YouTube, see what we got on tab

Haha, nothing like dinner a show!

Oh, it's like uh, my favorite YouTuber is in a bit of a scandal here

What gives?"

*sighs of regret*

Okay you caught me

You found the thing that I was hiding from you - deliberately!

And I'm very sorry, I was wrong!

But I've changed since then, so let's drop it and move on?

Okay you caught me!

Looks like the ruse is through

Cuz' the wholesome brand that you knew

Well it ain't true!

You're mad, I understand

So I'll leave for six months

Then strut right back like

"Nothing happened, hey it's me!

The guy whose fruit don't match the tree!

Believe me, the celebrity

Why would I say what I don't mean?"

(Listen here) Look see, we're of the same breed

Yes, you'd do the same if you have the means

This power I've gained has magnified

The bastards we are, yet I have the world's eyes!

I've been mired in the throes of ego!

A hell that rewards baseness and evil!

I'm remorseful! (Another shrewd tactic

That tugs at the heart of the unsure fanatics!)

Okay, yoju caught me!

So I'll write my condolences in the Notes app of my phone-ses-es

I use to make scapegoats to those who told their truth

While I lurked and I did much worse! (Plus I lied about it)

But now the facts are exposed

I query ye all, both young and old

When it comes to my crimes that have been told

Let he who hasn't done this too, cast the first stone!

"I just can't believe he'd do something like this... I mean, not whatever crime he committed, but make an apology song?

I mean, we should cancel him again just for that. Goes to show: Never meet your heroes. I mean, I looked up to this guy! We aligned on every single thing! Did he lie to me?! Or... are we more alike than I'd care to admit?"