I took my best gal out for the night

We went to see a film and we went for a bite

I said This is what we call The Three C's

The Three C's are Culture, Cuisine and Kissing

I took my cat to the vets with a lump

They gave him antibiotics and drained out all the gunk

I said This is what we call The Three B's

The Three B's are Blood and Bile and Abscesses

I want the kind of fame where I can become a CIA asset

The everyday everyman turned action hero, a universally beloved and relatable towering Adonis

A bronze God, I wanna ride the Twin Peaks to How I Met Your Mother pipeline

I'm Ray Wise, and you are Ray Extremely Daft

Do it badly, you can do it badly

Do it badly, you can

It's allowed, it's allowed, it's allowed

You could do better, but no-one can prove it

Do it badly

And your dad was having the greatest day of his life

Burger and car moment after burger and car moment

No longer a baby boy, but a baby man

Until tragedy struck, and he was served

Pint of Guinness in a Madri glass

Do it badly