Orgy for One

Ninja Brian, I invited a large number of girls

Over here for an orgy tonight

But I have to say, the responses thus far haven't been

Exactly what I'd hoped for

Stacy had a headache, Jenny was in jail

Brenda had to work late, Kate was gettin' Jenny's bail

Angela got scurvy, Ashley caught a cold

Sally's dad exploded, that's what I was told

Michelle had to play checkers, Ann was baking pies

Wendy's dad exploded too, that might've been a lie

Pam had frisbee lessons, Stella had ballet

Now I'm by myself, but I can have fun anyway, so

Dim the lights (Dim the lights)

Remove my tights (Remove my tights)

Yeah

Nobody showed, but I'm gonna have some fun

Let's get this party started, it's an orgy for one

It's me and my hand and it's hotter than the sun

So, break out the tissues, it's an orgy for one

I'm workin' out my issues in an orgy for one

Margaret's cat was nauseous, Jane was way too shy

Steve was not invited because he was a guy

Claire was parasailing, Brooke said she was in space

But it doesn't matter, 'cause I'm rounding second base

All through the night (Through the night)

My grasp is tight (My grasp is tight)

Oh

I'm beatin' so hard, you'd think I was a drum

And I don't even care, it's an orgy for one

I'm here all alone and I'm tuggin' on my plums

It's not just masturbation, it's an orgy for one

It's a fuckin' celebration, it's an orgy for one

Orgy for one (Orgy for)

Orgy for one

Sixty-nine (Sixty-nine)

Without the nine (Without the nine)

Now, pour the wine (Pour the wine)

I'm mine, all mine (I'm mine)

I'm batting a thousand and nailing everyone

Thank you everybody at this orgy for one

These pillows are stacked to look vaguely like a butt

You know I'm goin for it, it's an orgy for one

My junk is getting sore and it's an orgy for one

You know that I'll be scoring at the orgy for one (Orgy for one)

Orgy for

Orgy for one